This week I fully healed my relationship with nature 🌲🍄🌞
To be honest, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to do that.
From a young age I struggled with horrible allergies that made going outside miserable. I also developed a phobia of spiders and bugs that kept me in fight or flight mode every time I tried to relax in nature.
There was a time in my life where I didn’t see this as a problem. I had no desire to connect with nature or heal my relationship with it.
I held so much fear within me and because of this, I seemed to attract huge spiders and bugs everywhere I went. There was one summer where I woke up every night to a huge spider crawling on my face in the middle of the night (no joke - I literally bought a bug net to put over my bed because I couldn’t sleep).
I was traumatized by that. I didn’t feel safe inside, nevermind out in the grass or under a tree.
However, as I began my healing journey, I realized that my disconnect from nature was keeping me disconnected from myself. My nervous system was completely dysregulated. And I knew that one of the easiest ways to get grounded and feel as peace again was to spend time outside.
I felt so lost. I knew getting outside was supposed to help me heal, but it always just made things worse for me because of my fears.
I now realize that nature has always been supporting me. Those spiders in my room in Massachusetts were the final straw to push me out to San Diego, where my entire life changed for the better.
In California, I’ve had the space to heal. My allergies went away completely. I began working on my fears through small amounts of exposure, hypnotherapy, and nervous system regulation practices.
In the past year, I began to tap into my strength. I allowed ants to crawl all over me as I meditate on the beach. I sat in a dark cave in the mountains while crying through my fear of not knowing or seeing what was around me. And this past week, I finally allowed myself to lay on the ground in the Colorado mountains, breathe myself into deep relaxation, and trust fully that mama earth was protecting me. Not just from little critters, but big ones too 🐻
What happened in this moment felt like pure ecstasy. I truly felt like I came home to myself. I have never felt so calm. So protected. So free.
In that moment, I realized that we cannot reach that level of bliss without the polarity of fear. The fear I gripped onto in my mind kept me separated from the most healing medicine we have available to us 🌻🌱🦋
& only I could be the one to dive into that fear and set myself free again.
Once I did, I felt a surge of power within me.
I remember who I really am now. I know now that the fear is here to allow us to experience our true strength.
Healing my relationship with nature isn’t just about my newfound ability to lay in the grass or sit up against a tree. It symbolizes my ability to…
acknowledge my fears
enter into them fully
surrender to what is out of my control
tap into my true desire - to be free
and trust that I am protected no matter what.
I realized in this moment that this is the true recipe for living in alignment with your soul and manifesting your true desires. In order to experience freedom, we have to embrace our fears and recognize how strong we are.
This story may seem like a small win to someone who’s never struggled with feeling safe in nature. But we all have our own fears and limits we’ve set for ourselves because of them. When we choose to look at those fears instead of keeping them in the dark, we tap into new levels of our potential and a domino effect occurs.
This moment was monumental for me in creating safety within myself to be able to do the things that scare me and know that I’ll be okay. And that understanding is something that I know will propel me into my highest potential in this lifetime.
So my message to you is this: ask yourself what scares you. Acknowledge the fear. Honor it. And remember that on the other side of that fear is a strength you never knew you had.
When you tap into that, you become unstoppable 🏼